Brick Mansions

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When in November last year Paul Walker passed away, suddenly the whole of the Internet professed their love for him. They even went to such lengths as to change their Facebook cover photo into something Walker-related. In short, everyone was just such a huuuuuuuge fan. Strangely then, how none went to see his last completed film “Brick Mansions.”

In 2018, in a dystopian Detroit, abandoned brick mansions left from better times now house only the most dangerous criminals. Unable to control the crime, the police have constructed a colossal containment wall around this area to protect the rest of the [...] Continue Reading…

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Hey, kids! Smile and wave because your friend, the PG-13 CGI-toting Sly is here!

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Parents strongly cautioned: please keep your child away from the nasty real world.
Remember that time when in films you saw actual blood? Well, actual fake blood, that is? Its actuality was contained in the fact that it was made of some liquid substances that mimicked the look of real blood. Nowadays, fake blood is being replaced by faker blood whose existence is only made possible in post-production by coloring certain pixels on a computer.

Remember that time when you could actually follow the action on screen? When you knew who was shooting at whom, and who was punching and who [...] Continue Reading…

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The Expendables 3

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When “The Expendables” came out in 2010, I guess most of action fans were near-orgasmic because of the sheer potential the project offered. While “EX1″ was a good film, to us biased nostalgics even brilliant no matter its flaws, the next installment was quite possibly the best worst film of all time. “EX3″ sort of continues in that vein.

In a practically non-existent story, the Expendables have to take down Conrad Stonebanks – their co-founder who had gone rogue. Feeling the need for fresh blood, Sly ditches the old team and acquires young new faces who have none of the [...] Continue Reading…

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Death Bed: Lost 70′s Cult CLassic comes to the stage

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The Legend of Death Bed
Ed Wood Meets Christopher Guest

In 1973 George Barry made his only feature length film, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats.  Shot at the end of his college career with a motley crew of some students, a few friends and a couple of film professionals, it has achieved cult status as the worst movie never seen.  Because Barry couldn’t get a distribution deal, or so he thought.

By 1977 Barry and Ron Medico, the film’s editor, had cut together enough of the film to start looking for a distributor.  No one would bite.   With the rise of [...] Continue Reading…

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Pizza Shop: The Movie

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Ah, being a reviewer of any kind isn’t that easy, and I especially loath moments like this: when you have basically nothing positive to state about someone’s work. “Pizza Shop: The Movie” is a comedy written and directed by George O’Barts, who was also kind enough to provide me with a review copy, so the bashing that will follow is done with a heavy heart.

“Pizza Shop” revolves around a group of employees in the titular shop. The film is divided into story arcs, only loosely connected. We first meet the crew as Pete (Robert Bielfelt), the shop’s most eager [...] Continue Reading…

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